Power Outages!

You probably do not think much about powerlines.

Most of us have never lived in a world without them. They have become so common, so ordinary, so woven into the background of everyday life, that we hardly notice them anymore. And yet, today, the earth is wrapped in roughly 80 million kilometres of powerlines.

But just 150 years ago, there were none.

The thought that power could be generated in one place and then carried somewhere else would have sounded impossible. Yet in 1882, a group of German engineers set out to prove that it could be done. For an exhibition in Munich, they ran a powerline about 57 kilometres from Miesbach to Munich, where the electricity helped power an artificial waterfall.

Imagine seeing that for the first time.

Power, created in one place, traveling down a line, and then showing up somewhere else with visible force and beauty. No wonder the crowd was wowed. It was more than a clever invention. It was the beginning of a whole new way of thinking. And it laid the groundwork for the powerlines that now circle the globe.

RELATIONAL POWERLINES

You may not be able to see it and you may not be aware of it, but there is a powerline that runs between you and your spouse.

The current flowing back and forth is your words.

The words you send through the powerline to your spouse have tremendous power.

They can strengthen or weaken. They can warm a heart or chill a room. They can light up a relationship or leave it in the dark. In a very real sense, words are the electricity that travels the powerline of a relationship.

And the Bible has a lot to say about that.

Proverbs 18:21 reminds us that “death and life are in the power of the tongue.”

Proverbs 12:18 says that reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Ephesians 4:29 tells us not to let unwholesome words come out of our mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.

And James 1:19 reminds us to handle our words the way you would handle a high-voltage line: carefully, humbly, and with restraint. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

Every week, the average person speaks about 112,000 words, but the words we chose to use have a variety of impacts.

SOME WORDS ENERGIZE

Some words put life back into a person.

They do not just fill the air. They carry current. They travel down the powerline of the relationship and they put courage, hope, and strength into the heart of the other person. That is why Scripture says, “encourage one another and build each other up.”

Encouraging words remind the other person that they are not alone, not invisible, and not abandoned in what they are carrying.

SOME WORDS TRIP BREAKERS

Other words shut everything down.

Angry words. Cutting words. Sarcastic words. Dismissing words.

The kind of words that come in hot and hit hard. One careless sentence can trip the breaker in a relationship. The conversation stops. The warmth disappears. Defensiveness rises. That is why the Bible keeps warning us about reckless speech.

SOME WORDS SHORT-CIRCUIT THE RELATIONSHIP

Some words do more than sting. They damage the wiring.

Quarreling, godless chatter, constant criticism, gossip, accusation, contempt, and weaponized truth all have a way of short-circuiting the relationship.

Instead of making the relationship stronger, they scramble the signals and create sparks in all the wrong places.

You can say something in ten seconds that takes ten months to repair.

SOME WORDS ILLUMINATE

Some words help people see.

Truthful words. Honest words. Timely words. Clarifying words.

The kind of words that bring light instead of confusion.

In marriage, illumination matters. Sometimes your spouse does not need a speech. They need light. They need a wise word, a true word, a calm word, a word that helps them understand what is happening in you or what is happening in them. Truth, spoken with grace, is like flipping on the light switch in a dark room.

SOME WORDS RESTORE POWER

Some words bring a relationship back to life.

An apology can do that. So can gratitude. So can “I was wrong.” So can “thank you.” So can “I love you.” So can “I see how hard you’re trying.”

Some words do not just encourage. They strengthen. They steady the wobble. They put steel in the soul.

These are the kinds of words that restore service to a struggling relationship. They mend what has been weakened. They reconnect what has been strained. They help the current flow again.

SOME WORDS CAUSE POWER OUTAGES

And sometimes the biggest problem is not the wrong words. It is the missing ones.

Silence is not always neutral. Sometimes silence is a power outage.

When words are withheld, the line goes dead.

No encouragement. No affirmation. No honesty. No comfort. No apology. No “I’m proud of you.” No “thank you.” No “tell me what you’re feeling.” No “I love you.”

That kind of silence creates a vacuum in a relationship. Love may still be there, but the current is not flowing.

VOLTAGE METER

So, how strong and healthy are the words that flow down the powerline of your relationship?

Are your words energizing, or draining?

Are they building, or breaking down?

Are they restoring power, or causing outages?

Because words are never just words. They are electric. They reach the heart. They shape the relationship. And when rightly chosen and rightly applied, they can heal, strengthen, and light things up again.

FUEL AND SPARK

Q: When do you feel most energized by my words? What kinds of things do I say that genuinely put courage into your heart?

Q: What kinds of words from me tend to trip a breaker in you? Not to shame each other, but to understand each other better.

Q: Think about the last week. Did our words mostly energize our relationship, or drain it? What makes you say that?

Q: Are there any “missing words” in our relationship right now? Is there something you need to hear from me more often?

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