We’re Getting “It” On More These Days!

We’ve started doing “it” more in the car. In the living room. In bed before we fall asleep. And sometimes even in the park while out for a walk.

The truth is, like many couples, we haven’t always found it easy to pray together, but we’re doing it more spontaneously and more regularly these days.

It’s funny. A couple can share a bed, a bank account, raising kids and even survive IKEA furniture assembly…yet feel nervous praying out loud with each other.

To be fair, prayer between a husband and wife does create a kind of intimacy that’s hard to explain until you experience it.

Why Couples Struggle to Pray Together

If you and your spouse have avoided or never tried praying together, it may be because of one of these reasons:

1. We’ve never learned how to pray together

Couples assume their prayers need to sound polished, spiritual or profound. Others worry they’ll say the wrong thing, sound foolish or expose too much of what’s happening inside them. So instead of trying and stumbling through the awkwardness, many couples quietly avoid it altogether.

2. One person feels “less spiritual”

Spiritual insecurity or different experiences can often leave one spouse feeling intimidated or inadequate. This becomes a great reason for couples to avoid praying together.

3. Life is loud and busy

The simple reality is that prayer often loses to Netflix, phones, kids’ sports, laundry, yardwork or grocery shopping. Life is full and busy, and prayer often slips off the radar.

4. It feels vulnerable

Prayer has a way of exposing what’s really happening inside us. When couples pray together, it becomes difficult to hide fear, stress, doubt, hurt or need. And for many couples, that kind of vulnerability can feel risky.

What We’ve Been Learning…

Prayer doesn’t need to be long to be powerful.

Praying together doesn’t require 30 minutes of uninterrupted time.

Prayer is simply including God more intentionally in your life and moments.

Some of our prayers have lasted under 45 seconds.

Many are while we’re driving, holding hands on the way to work.

Some are poured out, simply because we’re feeling grateful. Others are out of overwhelmed emotions. Many are asking for wisdom when we have no idea what to do next. Most are simply a blessing spoken over our spouse, asking God for His strength, courage and favour in their life.

Simple Math

One of the simplest and most powerful verses about shared spiritual life is found in Ecclesiastes:

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” — Ecclesiastes 4:12

A strong marriage isn’t just wife + husband.

It’s husband + wife + God.

Prayer is simply one of the ways we include God in our marriage.

If You’ve Never Prayed Together…Here’s How to Start

Don’t begin with a 45-minute prayer summit and matching prayer journals. Instead, try this…

Try this:

Before bed, simply say: “What’s one thing I can pray for you about tomorrow?” Then pray one sentence. That’s it. Amen!

Some Other Creative Ways Couples Can Pray Together

1. The Car Prayer

Before leaving on a longer drive, pray for the journey.

Short. Natural. Easy.

Or, while driving, hold hands and pray for the event you are going to.

Cars are underrated holy spaces.

2. The “Tag-Team Prayer”

One person prays one sentence.

The other person prays the next.

Kinda like a tennis game…only more spiritual.

3. Pray While Walking

Some couples pray better side-by-side than face-to-face.

Walk the neighbourhood or through a park and spend some time praying as you walk.

4. The 20-Second Prayer Habit

Before sleep: Thank God for something. Pray something good for your spouse.

Simple habits like this shape relationships.

**5. Pray Through Stress **

When tension rises, stop and say:

“Before we keep talking…can we pray first?”

That one practice alone can change the emotional temperature of a marriage.

The Missing Ingredient…

So many couples want a deeper connection, so they work on their communication, see a counsellor and even plan regular date nights.

Those are great!...but there is something uniquely powerful about inviting God into the middle of your relationship.

Prayer is essentially shared dependence. It’s two people standing shoulder-to-shoulder saying: “We can’t do this alone. God, we need Your help.”

Maybe it’s time you got “it” on a little more! 😉

FUEL & SPARK

Q: What makes praying together feel awkward, intimidating or vulnerable for us?

Q: When during our normal week would prayer feel most natural for us? (Driving? Walking? Bedtime? Before work? During stress?)

Q: What is one thing happening in your life right now that you wish I prayed about more often?

Q: Which of the prayer ideas in this article feels easiest or most realistic for us to try this week?

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