One of my most vivid childhood memories takes me back to a small bedroom with two twin beds my dad built from plywood; one for me, and one across the room for my younger brother.

The lights were out, and for a few minutes, the room was quiet as my younger brother and I tried to settle down and drift off to sleep. Inevitably, one of us would break the silence: “So, what are you watching?”

Now, remember, this was the 1970s, no tablets, no phones, no screens. What we were really asking was, “What’s being projected onto the screen of your imagination right now?” Then we’d describe a vision, a hope, a fantasy, or a wish rolling through our minds.

Occasionally, one of those thoughts would turn dark. Worrisome. Frightening. Thankfully, we had a strategy for dealing with those rogue ruminations.

Upon a cry for help from the other, one of us would say, “OK! You know what to do: change the channel! Let’s do it together! On three! 1! 2! 3!” After a few moments, we’d ask, “So? Did it work? What do you see now?”

Remarkably, even at 5 or 8 years old, changing the channel actually worked.

OUR MINDS GET STUCK ON RERUNS!

It happens to everyone, but in marriage, the syndicated reruns in our minds can be especially damaging.

Something dark, worrisome, or frightening occurs, maybe an especially nasty fight, hurtful words, a cruel betrayal, a failure, or an ongoing disappointment or tension. Whatever it is, it begins to record a permanent reel in your mental theater. A reel that keeps playing on repeat.

Each time your thoughts drift back, the tape automatically rewinds and starts again: the dialogue, the hurtful lines, the cruel plot twists, all ready for another rebroadcast. And just like that, your mental movie gets stuck in reruns, shaping how you feel, react, and relate to your spouse.

Look around your heart and your marriage. Maybe you recognize some of the Top Dozen Classic Reruns?

1. “You don’t really love me.”
2. “You don’t appreciate anything I do.”
3. “You never listen to me.”
4. “Nothing I do is ever enough.”
5. “You don’t care about my feelings.”
6. “You always put yourself first.”
7. “I’m always the one who compromises.”
8. “You’ll never change.”
9. “We’ll never get past this.”
10. “I can’t rely on you.”
11. “You take me for granted.”
12. “Why am I the only one trying?”

IT’S TIME TO CHANGE THE CHANNEL

The strength of these reruns is that they advertise themselves as true and they call themselves ‘classics’. So, the first step to freedom is to recognize that while they are classics, they are the furthest from truth. They are lies dressed up in a cheap dress, a knock off suit and costume jewelry.

CHANGE THE CHANNEL OR SMASH THE RERUN

The apostle Paul had a unique way of dealing with thoughts that don’t belong. In 2 Corinthians 10:4-6 he says:

"We use our powerful God-tools for SMASHING warped philosophies, TEARING DOWN barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for CLEARING THE GROUND of every obstruction and BUILDING LIVES of obedience into maturity." (MSG)

Once he identified them, Paul took decisive, aggressive, hard-hitting action against the lies and half-truths.

HOW TO SMASH THE RERUNS

1. Spot the Rerun Before It Runs You

The first step is awareness. Grab your detective badge and keep your eyes open for thoughts that are looping. Notice the words, the emotions, the scene that’s playing in your mind. Ask yourself: Is this thought shaping reality, or is it just yesterday’s tape stuck on repeat?

2. Call Out the Lie

Reruns are convincing because they masquerade as truth. But most are half-truths, distortions, or outright lies. Name them. Say it out loud if you need to! • “This is a rerun, not reality.” • “I will not be defined by a moment in my past!” • “With God’s power I will live free of this thought!” Speaking it out loud gives power to the truth and starts the rerun unraveling.

3. Change the Channel

Remember the bedroom with your brother? You don’t just try to ignore the bad scene, you actively replace it with something better. In marriage, this could mean: • Replaying a memory of kindness from your spouse. • Focusing on gratitude: “Three things I appreciate about my partner right now.” • Rehearsing a positive, constructive response to a past conflict. Changing the channel is not pretending it never happened nor is it sweeping it under the carpet and refusing to deal with the hurt or offense. Rather, it’s practicing the truth until it sticks.

4. Smashing the Rerun with God-Tools

Paul doesn’t just suggest thinking positively; he talks about smashing warped philosophies. Here’s how: • Prayer: Invite God into the mental theater. Ask Him to expose lies and replace them with His truth. • Scripture: Arm yourself with verses that counter your mental reruns (e.g., Romans 12:2; Philippians 4:8). • Action: Do something that embodies the opposite of the rerun: call, hug, serve, forgive. Action makes truth tangible.

5. Rewind With Reflection, Not Regret

After the rerun is smashed, take a moment to reflect: What did this teach me about my heart, my spouse, or God’s grace? Avoid letting regret or shame create a new tape. Reflection is like cleaning the lens, so the next thought projected onto your mental screen is clear, not distorted.

FUEL & SPARK

Q: What “reruns” do you find yourself replaying most often in your marriage, and how do they affect your feelings toward your spouse?

Q: Which of the Top Dozen Classic Reruns resonates most with you today, and why?

Q: Do you tend to play-nice with destructive reruns or do you take decisive and aggressive action like Paul instructed?

Q: What positive memories, moments, or biblical truths could you intentionally replay to replace a recurring negative thought?

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