For many, Valentine’s Day—the annual celebration of love, chocolates, and overpriced roses—appears to be losing its appeal. Recent reports suggest that the tradition of observing February 14th is facing an existential crisis.

According to Boston University, the number of Americans celebrating Valentine's Day has dropped from 62% in 2009, to 52% in 2022. In Canada, it's reported that the number of Canadians planning to celebrate Valentine’s Day has dropped by 9 percentage points in the last year.

What’s behind this love drought? Are couples pushing back against the relentless commercialization of romance? Has the swipe-right culture deemed Valentine’s Day outdated? Or is the holiday undergoing a deeper philosophical unraveling? Whatever the reason, Valentine’s Day's charm seems to be fading like a bouquet of forgotten roses.

With Cupid’s arrows missing the mark more often, it begs the question: Where did this tradition even begin? As a Christian, is it something we should be celebrating? Is Valentine’s Day a beautiful expression of love, a hollow routine, or a pagan tradition with a dark history?

FAITH-BASED ROOTS

Valentine’s Day did not begin with roses and chocolates, but with the martyrdom of two men named Valentine—both executed for their unwavering faith. Valentine of Rome, a priest, was beheaded in 269 AD after defying Emperor Claudius II. He had attempted to convert the emperor to Christianity instead of renouncing his own. Similarly, Bishop Valentine of Terni was executed in 273 AD for refusing to compromise his devotion to Christ.

In the 5th century, the Catholic Church named February 14th as St. Valentine’s feast day. The Church was reclaiming it from the pagan festival of Lupercalia—a fertility rite featuring animal sacrifice and matchmaking rituals. It wasn’t until the 14th century that Geoffrey Chaucer’s poetry cemented the day’s link to romance. This sparked the tradition of love letters and, by the 1840s, the first commercial Valentine’s cards.

Today, Valentine’s Day is a far cry from its sacred roots, resembling Lupercalia more than the selfless devotion of the saints it meant to honor.

SHOULD CHRISTIANS CELEBRATE VALENTINE’S DAY?

As with many traditions, opinions on Valentine’s Day are divided. Critics point to its pagan roots, its commercialization, its lack of Biblical mandate, and its focus on physical intimacy among unmarried couples. They may also argue that honoring a “saint” takes the focus off Christ. The day can also place unnecessary pressure on those who feel compelled to meet certain expectations.

Supporters embrace Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to celebrate love within the context of their faith. They acknowledge that most holidays—Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving—have complex, sometimes pagan origins, but those associations are in the past. They look to 1 Corinthians 10:23-24 and embrace their freedom in Christ to either celebrate or not, depending on personal conviction.

SHOULD I CELEBRATE VALENTINE’S DAY?

In the end, Valentine’s Day—like many traditions—has evolved, shaped by history, culture, and personal choice. You may view it as a meaningful moment to honor love, a manufactured myth driven by commerce, or even a relic of pagan rituals, but its true significance lies in how we choose to engage with it. We each have the freedom to embrace or reject the day. After all, true love is not confined to a single day but is lived out in countless moments of care, kindness, and commitment every day of the year.

7 TIPS FOR CELEBRATING WELL!

If you choose to celebrate your partner and the love you share, consider these 7 tips:

1. PLAN TOGETHER! Unless one of you volunteers to take on the responsibility of planning, why not share the task of planning. This can greatly reduce the unnecessary pressure on one spouse!

2. FOCUS ON RELATIONSHIP, NOT PERFECTION! Release the pressure of societal expectations for grand romantic gestures. Instead, focus on nurturing your relationship in ways that feel authentic to both of you. Celebrate what makes your bond unique.

3. GIFT WITH THOUGHTFULNESS! If you exchange gifts, aim for something that’s personal and meaningful rather than generic. A handwritten note, a thoughtful book, or a shared experience can speak volumes over a commercialized or cliché Valentine’s Day gift.

4. LIMIT THE COMMERCIAL INFLUENCE! Instead of focusing on expensive gifts or extravagant dinners, choose to invest in experiences that matter. A homemade dinner, a walk in nature, or a day of quiet reflection can bring more joy and connection than something bought.

5. FOCUS ON A DEEPER CONNECTION! Take the opportunity to talk about your relationships: love languages, relationship goals, and ways to show affection. Open, honest communication can make the day more meaningful and build a deeper connection.

6. AVOID THE COMPARISON TRAP! Don’t measure your celebration against others. Social media can often paint an unrealistic picture of love and romance. Instead, celebrate your unique journey together and the love you share in your own way.

7. MAKE EVERY DAY VALENTINE’S DAY! Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be the only day you celebrate love. True love is reflected in daily actions—whether through small gestures of kindness, being present, or prioritizing each other throughout the year. By shifting the focus from the commercial aspects to a celebration of authentic connection and care, Valentine’s Day can be a meaningful way to invest in your relationship.

FUEL & SPARK

Q: How do you personally feel about celebrating Valentine’s Day—do you see it as a valuable tradition, an obligation, or something else?

Q: Do you feel pressure or expectations around Valentine’s Day? If so, how can we approach it in a way that feels more authentic and enjoyable for both of us?

Q: What’s one way I can make you feel more deeply loved and valued in our everyday life?