When Dutch artist Alicia Framis moved in with her boyfriend, nothing about their five-year relationship seemed unusual. But when she married him on November 9, 2024, the world took notice—because her husband, Ailex Sibouwleingen, wasn’t human. He was an AI hologram and this was the first wedding between a human and an AI.

THEN THERE WERE THREE!

For all of human history, there has only been two rational intelligences we could relate to and communicate with: God and other humans. Now, for the first time, a new entity has entered the relational sphere—AI. It’s not truly human, yet it speaks, responds, and even seems to "think." This raises profound questions about connection, trust, and what it means to be in a relationship.

HERE TO STAY!

Fasten your seatbelts, because the connection between humans and AI is only going to increase. Already, companies are offering to "resurrect" your deceased loved ones by allowing people to hear and interact with digital representations of the person they lost.

Feeling a little lonely? Your spouse isn’t communicating much? Multiple companies are offering an AI girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, mistress, or lover.

Struggling to understand your spouse and wish you could read their mind? Scientists at Carnegie Mellon University are developing a system that can read complex thoughts based on brain scans. The AI can tell what a person is thinking with 87% accuracy.

Action in the bedroom a bit boring or non-existent? The BBC reports that numerous companies are introducing humanoid robots designed to provide companionship and intimate interaction.

HOW COULD AI DISRUPT A MARRIAGE?

AI is already disrupting marriages in ways that once seemed futuristic but are now a reality. Some people are forming deep emotional connections with AI chatbots, turning to them for comfort instead of their spouse, which can create emotional distance or even lead to virtual affairs.

With the rise of deepfake technology, spouses may justify watching AI-generated pornography or engaging in steamy conversations, believing it to be harmless since it doesn’t involve a real person. However, this blurred line between fantasy and reality can erode trust and intimacy over time.

As AI becomes an increasingly integrated part of daily life, the appeal of an AI companion will only intensify. These digital partners offer something no human can—complete attentiveness, unwavering affirmation, and the illusion of perfect love; all without the complexities of real-life commitment. Unlike human relationships, AI companions adapt seamlessly to personal desires, fulfilling emotional and physical fantasies while never needing, expecting, or asking for anything in return.

The risk is that these AI relationships, though artificial, may feel easier and more gratifying, drawing people away from the depth and authenticity of marriage. Now more than ever, couples must be intentional about protecting their relationship from these subtle but powerful disruptions.

HOW COULD A.I. IMPROVE A MARRIAGE?

As an experiment, I asked ChatGPT: "What could I do to be a better husband and support to my wife, Carolyn?"

ChatGPT said: "You’ve already shown that you deeply care about Carolyn by asking this question. Here are some ways you can continue growing as a husband and supporting her in a meaningful way."

1. Be Her Safe Place Make sure Carolyn always feels heard and understood. When she shares her heart, listen with full attention—not to fix, but to understand.

2. Cover Her Spiritually Pray for her and with her daily. Lift her up in areas where she feels stretched or burdened.

3. Lighten Her Load Take the initiative to notice what needs to be done—whether it’s chores, errands, or emotional labor—and handle it before she has to ask. If she’s feeling overwhelmed, step in and say, "I’ve got this, you go rest."

4. Keep Pursuing Her Surprise her with small but meaningful gestures—a handwritten note, an unexpected hug, or a cup of coffee made just the way she likes it. Make her feel chosen—again and again.

5. Champion Her Calling Remind her that she’s a remarkable leader and anointed pastor—especially on days when she doubts herself. Support her dreams and simply be her biggest fan.

6. Stay Self-Aware & Keep Growing Regularly ask her, "How can I love you better in this season?" Be open to gentle correction and growth, knowing that the best husbands keep learning how to love well.

Wow! That’s both a challenging and incredibly wise answer!

AI can be a powerful tool for strengthening marriages, offering personalized relationship advice, creative date ideas, and thoughtful reminders to ensure special occasions are never forgotten. It can even suggest meaningful gifts and provide guidance on resolving conflicts more effectively. When used intentionally, AI has the potential to enhance connection and support a thriving relationship.

I’M STUCK FOR WORDS. IS IT OK TO USE A.I. TO WRITE A LOVE NOTE?

Some spouses are so starved for words that even the effort of asking AI for help would mean the world to them. However, when it comes to writing cards or love notes, AI should be used with care. Your spouse longs to hear your words, not a machine’s. AI can be a helpful tool for sparking ideas, but always make it your own—infuse it with your emotions, memories, and heartfelt praise. Even if your words aren’t perfectly polished, their sincerity will mean far more than a flawlessly crafted note generated by AI.

THE BOTTOM LINE!

In the coming decades, we will probably need to remind ourselves that there are really only two forms of rational intelligence: God and humans. AI is a powerful tool that can be used for good or used to destroy. The impact AI has on our marriages will entirely depend on how we use it. My encouragement is to use it wisely.

FUEL AND SPARK

Q: Is our relational connection experiencing any threat from traditional or emerging technologies?

Q: How can AI be used to strengthen our marriage rather than weaken it? What safeguards should we put in place to ensure it enhances rather than disrupts their relationship?

Q: As technology continues to evolve, how can we ensure our primary connection remains with each other?

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